I’m Back

I’m back!  It’s been a while since I last posted, way too long in fact. Far longer than it should have been and far longer than I ever thought it would be.  See, life has a way of intervening at times and I simply didn’t have the creative energy, or time or mental space, to put together a good post.  For me, posting here is more than just typing out words that I hope someone will read, it’s about saying something meaningful, even if its just meaningful to me, or helpful or just plain entertaining.  Over the last couple of months, I just didn’t have the flow of creative juices to create a blog post that lived up to any of my standards.

For those of you who know my story over the last year, you may understand where I was coming from.  For those who don’t know, we were displaced from our home in June 2021 thanks to a massive oak tree falling on it.  After bouncing around several hotels (with two kids and a dog) we were finally placed in an apartment.  On the third floor, without air conditioning, with barely enough space to house our essentials that we rescued from the house before all our belongings were packed up and put in storage.  We endured noisy neighbors, speeding loud cars on the road nearby, no parking, etc etc etc…basically, it was a big change from where were living.  All in all, it kind of sucked.  On the bright side, the insurance company was great and paid for the whole thing, while we paid for our home mortgage that sat dormant for several months before they started work.  After many delays the work began in earnest and we were thinking we’d get back in the house in early Spring.  Then late Spring.  Then early Summer.  Finally, right after the 4th of July, we were able to move back in to our home.  The work wasn’t done (and still isn’t) but it’s enough to get us back home again.  So we moved all our apartment belongings and had the trucks bring our stuff from storage and we’ve been swimming in cardboard boxes ever since, trying to put everything back where it was.  As a family, we are pretty diligent about not having a ton of extraneous stuff, yet still, it feels like we have a ton of stuff that needs to be put away.  Needless to say we’ve had many trips donating stuff to local shelters, Goodwill and the church nearby.    I can’t say it was a good journey, but it was a journey of life that we endured. In the end, we may be wiser perhaps, a bit jaded by the process, very thankful for what we have and who we have.  Spending a year cooped up in an apartment with two teenage boys and a dog can stress any relationship and I am even more awed, inspired and in love with my wife who did an amazing job shepherding the family through the ordeal and our relationship grew amazingly so by this experience.

So enough about my ordeal, what’s the point of this post?  I’m back!  I have my office barely set up and am feeling like I can actually do some creative work again.  The creativity is starting to come back in a way that makes it feel worthwhile to explore and share.  Maybe you have experienced this  yourself, how when a major life thing happens, how your priorities are shifted and re-aligned.  Things that were important to you are suddenly not as important.  Or, how passions can be extinguished, or dimmed, by a greater force being exerted in your life.  Upon reflection, that’s what seemed to happen with me.  Even though photography and creativity is central to my life and something I’ve been passionate about for many years, the trials of the last year dimmed all of that creativity and energy to the point I didn’t feel like I wanted to create anything.  But now, slowly, as my life is starting to resemble my “normal” as boxes are unpacked and computers set up, I am feeling that stir of creativity well up in me again.   I’m back! Maybe not all the way, but far enough along the road to continue working on images, my writings and various photo projects I left in mid-flight.

To feel the creative fire burn again feels good.  It’s something I’ve felt for many years and through photography and teaching I have had a way to express that upwelling of energy.  It’s amazing though to look back over the past year and see how far that fire was dimmed.  Hard to believe because it’s burned so bright for so long. Now I’m feeling the embers glow, the flicker of flame, slowly growing, creating its own momentum, building and building.  It feels good!  Yes, I’m back!

Photography, art and creativity have always been refuges from the storm throughout my life.  I have been able to seek solace, comfort and energy from immersing myself in the arts when things got tough or I get too stressed.  It’s been a bastion of safety for me over the years.  This past year though, the tidal wave of challenges overwhelmed the seawall and came flooding in and there was no safe area, no safe tsunami zone…everything got flooded.  Now the waters have receded and I’m beginning to clean up after the devastation.  The sun is shining with a gentle breeze blowing, even though there is a lot more work to do, I’m happier and seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m back!